At one point or another, we all used to think we had a type. We imagined a mould for our “soul mates” (“THE ONE”) and waited for someone to Cinderella-shoe-in to the mould. Self-raised in my teens/early 20s on streaming North American dramas and skimming Perez Hilton posts, I was held hostage by Hollywood’s definition of beauty and love. My mould was a skinny-fit brunette white chick.
One fine day I suddenly realized that I had fallen hard for a girl who was no more eye-catching than a glass window. She’s a blonde WASP, allergic to exercise, had a great relationship with her parent/stepparent, and it could not have been farther from my mould. But, like a glitch in the Sims, she existed through my mould.
My life erupted with questions. I realized I was deliberately picking seats in areas she would sit and leaving a few surrounding spots open, should she come in late to class. I realized I was making an extra effort to hang out with people she would hang out with; I realized mid-essay that I hadn’t written a word in the past 15 minutes because I had been thinking about the 10 minutes I had spent with her that day. It took me a year and prolonged absence
and her getting a boyfriend to get over her. (Although prior to her getting a boyfriend she did try to make a move on me at the bar. Fuck up #2.)
I fell hard for her personality, above all else, and only after then did I find her physical being irresistible – the way she curled her fingers through her hair, her self-deprecating humour, her ability to read and empathize with people… It was the first time that had happened to me and I had the hardest time getting out of the stupid crush. Whereas my crushes stemming from physical attraction would disappear the second they were out of sight, she plagued my mind (especially) when I was alone.
We have a mould – “a type” – for our potential partners but we should be careful not to be blind to others. I learned that the hard way.
p.s. I looked it up, mould and mold are just UK vs. American variations. Fuck you, I’m not talking about a bacterial growth.