Twelve (, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen)

You can tell that I’m getting comfortable with coming out by the number of people I come out to at a time (though, it was more like one-on-one, one after another).

Twelve had told me at the cottage a few months ago that she felt she knew the type of guy I’d be into and that she was totally down to set me up with someone. She quickly backtracked cuz she thought she was being rude. This past Friday night after two shots of Jack, one shot of tequila, 1 whiskey sour, and 1 Mill St Organic, I followed up on that – intrigued ever since she told me, but also finally ready with an answer to follow her up with. She described someone who I could emotionally connect with, was white, buff, and that I could have good long talks with. I essentially told her that minus the penis and the buff part, she wasn’t far off the mark. We hugged it out, and she told me she would self-classify as 85% straight – although she’s been with her boyfriend for two years (his last relationship was with a guy for three years).

I remember when we first learned of his bisexuality – we were both in a hotel in Montreal and a third friend was telling us how an inconsiderate group of friends outed him with a nasty game of “never have I ever”. Her reaction was memorable: “This might be weird but I think I like him a little more”.

Aside from Twelve, who wanted to set me up with a guy, I had to ask the usual “did you know/ was I obvious?”

Thirteen – straight, very insightful, very trustworthy, male: I presented him with a scale (keep in mind I was hammered) from one to ten. He diplomatically said five. When I asked if he could keep it on the down-low, he said with a straight face “I’ve already forgotten”. He’s the type I would trust with my life.

Fourteen – straight, white #PSL girl: She just said she never thought about it and that I never really showed any interest.

Fifteen – recently out white guy: I was completely wasted at this point but thought I was being very subtle when I came out to him. The two of us got into the Korean restaurant earlier while the others stayed outside for a smoke. He told me the next morning that yes I whispered to him but very, very loudly in a quiet Korean restaurant.

When I sat down to write this post, I snapped the following to my friends:


And everyone who I had come out to thought they were being so original with their “barista knows” and “just how you like it“s.

Shut up, guys.



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