Gay Men vs Lesbians

I started this post on Sunday night but got caught up in course work. I have no one but myself to blame. 😦

Toronto is all kinds of irresistible when the sun’s out. I went for a morning ride today and was only planning to go to the neighbourhood grocery store, but ended up biking to the end of Queen Street, past the beaches (route below).


On my ride bike through the beaches, I noticed something: gay men on the beach playing volleyball. Hordes of them.

One of my gay male friends, Ten, is part of a gay volleyball league that meets up every weekend. He’d built an entire empire of gay friends through it. Come to think of it, every gay dude I know is in a gay sports league, be it volleyball, dodgeball, or softball, and from there they become super close friends that go for gay brunch and do gay things and be gay together, gay ever after.

Excuse me, where the fuck are my lesbian sports leagues?

Tinder Girl #3 was in a queer dodgeball drop-in but it wasn’t exclusive to lesbians, probably because they wouldn’t even have enough players. There were trans folks and gay men, and probably a handful of straight (“straight”) girls too. But then again, I don’t know if I’d bother joining since I don’t think I’d date a girl who’s super into sports. :/ Then again Tinder Girl #3 didn’t look like she was as into sports as she was – AKA she didn’t have the qualities of a butch lesbian. (They’re just not my type.)

It comes down to a much larger “problem”. It just seems so much easier for gay men to form social circles because men, regardless of sexuality, are so much more open and fearless of being social. Confidence and outgoingness are gendered – by which I mean society encourages it amongst males and discourages it amongst females. We, queer women, are already scarce enough and this just makes it so much harder to meet available queer women in social settings.

Of course, there’s also the fact that men are more likely to enjoy sports than women. But wtf do women even like? Is there a book club for gay women? I’d love to date a bookworm but I wouldn’t even be able to fake my way into a queer book club, especially if it’s a fiction-based one (it’s been years since I read a fiction book). Is there a speed-dating event that pairs queer women who play sports with queer women who are buried in books? I will throw all my moneys at a service like this. Please make it happen.

I digress.

All this just goes to show hard it is for lesbians to meet. If someone knows of a monthly exodus of queer women to an area in Toronto, pls share with me all RSVP details.

p.s. I wonder what my soulmate is doing right now.


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