Beer Olympics, New Queer friends, Getting Set-Up, and a Gay Night Out
This past weekend was the third annual Muskoka Weekend with the planners. Forecast called for thunderstorms, but that didn’t deter us from coming up to our buddy’s home and continuing the tradition. Boy, were we prepared, tarps and all.
Myself and a good friend of mine (whom I’d made a YOLO pact with last year) were stuck waiting for our friend who was in a meeting in Simcoe for two hours. He’s one of a few who I connect well with but he’s been a little MIA recently because he’s wrapping up his Masters. We spent the two hours catching up at an outdoor gym-park, chatting about how much we’ve grown and stepped outside of our introverted comfort zones. We’ve both made progress in our own ways – him, with more hookups/relationships and learning to be more detached from his strict African parents; Myself, well, if you’re reading this… y’know. T’was a nice beginning to the start of a fantastic weekend.
Because of Rio 2016, a couple of geniuses in our group came up with the theme of this year’s getaway being The Beer Olympics. We even had the costumes and outfits for Team Bostwana, Tonga, Barbados, and Refugee.
We also kept beer tabs on our improvised beer necklaces. I tabbed seven over roughly half a day – the MVP clocked 13. Nobody knows how he’s still alive.
The weekend comprised a lot of drinking, eating, swimming, and smoking (I tried a cigarillo for the first time and learned that these things were surprisingly hard to find!). I smoked a bit too much weed and realized this when I went to grab something from my tent and had an existential crisis for five minutes. But when I came back out, myself and another friend couldn’t stop laughing for a good hour. Midnight skinny-dipping sobered us right up.
The best part was it being a much-needed mental detox from the city. I’m ecstatic to be back in my home and to shower, but being away from social media and the responsibilities of everyday life was healthy break.
On the car ride home, I couldn’t help but feel an intense appreciation for the friends I’ve made and stuck with. I made them prior to confronting and challenging my introversion, so I’m definitely lucky to have been included from early on. I can’t imagine a life without such a supportive, well-rounded group.
The Thursday before I left for Muskoka had been a very rushed day – I don’t recall sitting down for more than 15 minutes that day. But some things are worth mentioning as I sense they’re seeds for future occurrences. First:
Without putting too much faith into it, I sense a strong friendship with a new friend beginning.
I was supposed to go to a queer film fest reception with her after my ultimate frisbee game that night. After biking back from Sunnybrooke Park in the rain, I noticed she’d stopped texting me and hadn’t confirmed meeting up. She ended up having to call it off as she had things going on in her family. I initially suspected (without malice) that it was maybe an excuse as meet-ups without confirmed details are more prone to flopping, per my experience. But it was the complete opposite of it.
“Family shit is happening.
I’m a total mess right now.
I don’t think I’ll be able to pull myself together for this“
I asked her if she was okay and if she needed to talk. The empathy (and I suspect the guilt from bailing last minute) opened her up to confiding in me about her sibling who was transitioning and the strain that that was putting on her family. Her family also being Chinese, I could empathize with how hard it must be.
I stood around for the following 45 mins, in half-finished make-up, texting with her. I hadn’t texted in such a back-and-forth and consistent fashion with anyone like that in a while – it seems we just don’t have the
time or attention span. She lives just down the street from me and it did cross my mind that perhaps I should’ve asked her to meet up for fro-yo or drinks. I ended up deciding against it as this was an opportunity to start packing for the weekend getaway I was leaving for in less than eight hours – yup, that’s the silver lining in not going to the reception. It was a bit of a push anyway, but I knew then that this was someone I could connect with and potentially be good friends with.
On the same night, a friend of mine texted me:
“Hay. Want me to set you up with my hot friend“
Laughing, I (carefully) let my curiosity show. It was almost 11pm after all and there was a good chance she was drunk. She’s the type where at any given moment, there is a 40% chance that she is hungover. It increases to 85% on weekends.
But she was sober and sent me pictures. Yes, physically, she is a bombshell, but my attraction is overwhelmingly weighted towards emotional beauty (TM) – I can’t be attracted to someone without knowing their backstory, their passions, their personality. She said she’d tell me more about her in person on the weekend.
What I got out of it (we were discussing this while drunk/high) was that she was new to girls and that she wanted to try it out. My friend showed her pics of me, she said I was cute, and that’s when she texted me.
At this point in my life, I don’t think I’d go out of my way to date. I have other things I can be working on and dating just doesn’t seem like a priority. By other things I mean working with the Mayor’s office on a revitalization project, working with TVO on an upcoming documentary, on my big data career… I have several passion projects going on and I just don’t know if I can handle having someone in my life right now.
I’m open to it, should She come along, but I wouldn’t seek Her out deliberately.
I was off my phone for the whole weekend (okay, I might’ve checked Twitter once or twice), but was happy to come back to a new group convo chat with a queer friend whom I’d met at an LGBT volunteer fest. She’d sent out a call for a gay night out. For what it’s worth, the girl whom I’d asked out on a nondate (let’s call her July in posts from hereon) was also in the chat – our mutual friend doesn’t know what happened between us – but it didn’t affect me one bit. If anything, I was glad to have someone in addition to the mutual whom I knew.
I took the opportunity to put out a call to recruit queer women on my queer ultimate frisbee team – hook, line, and sinker, I managed to entice two to join.
Oh right, I’m also on a queer co-ed ultimate frisbee team this fall. My gay is levelling up.
Having things to look forward to really tickles my vorfreude.
Being funemployed has blessed me with a lot of much-needed freedom, but this coming week feels very unstructured. Instead of planning for it, I’m going to spend the rest of tonight prioritizing things for the coming week.
Note: I bought a men’s Jack and Jones vintage plaid shirt from the thrift store on Thursday – I finally own flannel like a real lesboon. Paired with sweats and a snapback, I’d never felt gayer than I did in my outfit today.