Introverting intensifies

I went on a godawful tinder date. She kept trying to complete my sentences and she would not stop talking about herself.

She didn’t look anything like her profile pictures either.

It was intensely irritating when she went on and on about qwoc representation in media. A side of me wonders if it’s because I’m Asian, that she can win points by appearing to be an ally and ranting about how Scarlett Johanssen should not have been cast in Ghost in the Shell. Well, it’s one thing to be an ally but quite another to run your mouth about how “this might be a controversial thing to say, but I think we need more black artists like Beyoncé”.

Just shut up. Please. 

The day after, she was supposed to stay til 6pm but lord have mercy, I wouldn’t have survived. I resorted to making up an elaborate story about my brother getting into a fight with my mom and needing to go see him. Even after then, she thought I’d let her stay at my apartment unsupervised. …FFS.

Woof. What a nightmare.


 

I just texted a girl from Tinder from a month ago (whom I’d stopped texting with) to tell her about it. We really hit it off the first time we texted back and forth but stopped after she went to go visit her brother in Welland. I never followed up and neither did she… But we’re picking it right back up. It’s odd but I like how loosely we’re taking it.

I feel so much more free since ending things with Tinder Nightmare (sorry, too tired to be a considerate human). The weightlessness is giving me the energy to meet new queers and I feel I’ve been doing so (even on the Friday before meeting her. I made out with a cute chick at a queer bar). Specifically, it’s the absence of a ‘potential crush’ that’s fueling the enthusiasm.


 

On a self-reflective note…

I’ve been preoccupied lately with the issue of me perhaps talking about myself too much.

I’ve long prided myself on being a great listener…so I’m terrified of entertaining this idea that perhaps I’m not /or I no longer am. J, C, and a lot of other gays are great at asking questions and I’m starting to compare myself (naturally) and I’m wondering if I don’t.

Being a good listener makes people more likable – this is known. Women are less assertive about their accomplishments and interests, generally speaking, than men. So although I’m naturally quiet and a person of few words, my conscious effort over these past few years to be louder, more articulate, and more purposeful with what I have to say might be drowning out my “introverted” side.

I’m worse at this in social settings than at the office. I’m a great listener towards my coworkers, but less so with my friends. One of my New Years Resolutions is to ask better and more questions of my friends when engaging in conversation – I’ve noticed I’m usually the one talking, and quite often it’s about my ideas or myself. (This is the opposite for me in the office.)

Then again all these are just my opinions of myself and could be totally wrong.

 

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